Life Ponders

Love loving – the love of loving.  Loving to smile, loving the air, loving walking, being not high on life but, having life high on you, all around you, and all in chaotic bliss.
It feels good to feel good and the feeling of liking something is good, the feeling of loving something is great, simply loving to love allows me to love so much.

But I cannot love loving at all time.  I must find something to do – something to do...  such a powerful phrase.  We are always trying to find something to do. Something to eat, something to speak, somewhere to be, somewhere to see – something -  Sometimes it’s so hard to come to a decision to do something even when you’re doing a lot.  Some people do things merely for something to do; some people don’t because they can’t think of what to do.  I often find difficulty decided what to do – so I often stimulate my mind until the desire for a desire is brought to front stage of my brain.

Plans are troublesome I find too – I make it a minds mission to destroy all plans or blueprints and have only ideas.  Plans are what are suppose to happen, theoretically could happen, is meant to happen, is what you’d like to happen – but life fucks plans – it’s life’s favourite past time. Childhood dreams or simply walking to a gas station for a chocolate bar – life will fuck your plans around and fuck them hard. Example:  I plan on going to get some milk for my mother at the store, then come home and play games – instead I get moms milk, after a cold walk in the rain, a bunch of chocolate and candy for myself, have a terrifyingly awkward time trying actually buy the dang stuff due to import clerks not speaking English, then get home and before being able to turn on a PS3 I get a bunch of company instead and end up drinking and having a party.  So I planned on buying milk and playing games and ended spending more money getting chocolate and candy too, feeling annoyed at the clerk, and partying with friends instead of playing a game.  Not really a bad turn out but, still ya can see how life took the plan and added this and that and edited here and there. So I say no plans and only ideas.  The next day I have an idea to go out for breakfast and come home and have fun – this leaves the day to all sorts of possibility and I can giggle at the unknown adventure ahead of me.

Finally the now matters a lot.

The Now: The moment you are in and what is caught in it around you. All that is in your current perception and nothing beyond it.  Not focused on time, whats outside your current perception, the past, and the future.

Ex. “The entire wedding I forgot about as I entered the now of loading food upon my plate from the food table finally.”
Ex. “Dancing on the now of the dance floor I was oblivious to seeing my friend walk in the hall.”

The now is where we are always are – you’re in a now right now – shortly ago ya probably were in the now of reading the beginning of all this wondering your own opinions perhaps.  And now I send you into the now of finishing reading this and urge you to pay attention to the nows of your life – the Nows throughout the day.